Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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