this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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