i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
