DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
