I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
