There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
