His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
