yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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