I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
