just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
