why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize