I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
