How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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