I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
