when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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