Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
