Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
