So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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