He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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