I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
