Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
