It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
two words: eviction party
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
