Tell her she can't have a vagina
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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