Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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