got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
