Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
