she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
