I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
