they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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