wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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