Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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