...so i touched it.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
