does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
