remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
