Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
