i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
