Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Even my vagina gasped.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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