but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
