Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
