well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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