Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
