I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
