i just google imaged poop.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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