he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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