I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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