Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
