you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
