I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
