conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Alive.
So much puke
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
