i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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