Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
