I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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