so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
