'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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