Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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