Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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