We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
