I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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