you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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