The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
