dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
